Habits of Healthy Couples

A healthy relationship can look different to all of us, but there are some constants:

• You Feel Safe In Your Relationship ~ You can share your innermost feelings with your partner without the fear of being judged. Your experiences together are safe in that place and aren't shared with others. It's your little secret. Shhhh....

• You See The Best In Each Other ~ You don't point out each other's flaws. You celebrate your differences and draw on each other's strengths. If you look for something wrong you can always find it. And ultimately if you look for something good you can find that too.

• You Let Each Other Know What You Want ~ In a healthy relationship you tell each other what you want, not what you don't want. You give constructive comments instead of criticizing.

• You Show Love Every Day ~ You don't wait for Valentine's Day or special occasions to show you love your partner.  It doesn't have to be a grand gesture, sometimes it's the little things that count.

• You Spend Time Together ~ It's not about the quantity of time but more about the quality of the time you spend. He can prep while you cook, or you two can lay in bed next to each other while reading a book. Find time to connect on an emotional level.

At the end of the day a healthy relationship should make you feel energized instead of feeling drained.

Put Them On The "Don't" Date List

You're single and feeling good about yourself and it seems that everyone is attracted to you. Or, your single and feeling sorry for yourself and you're attracted to everyone.  Well, before moving forward on your options, strike these people off of your list:

• Your Boss ~ Waiting! Is he rating your job performance or your performance in bed. Either way this can go bad real quick. And that promotion he promised?  How many special projects do you have to complete before you say an increase in your paycheck.

• Your Son's Best friend ~  He sure looks good stretched out on your sofa while he and your son are watching the game. And he sure loves your buffalo wings. But this is a relationship you want to steer clear of.  Your son definitely won't appreciate watching you two make out, and you can forget about him ever calling his boy "Stepdad."

• Your Best friend's Ex ~ There is never a good way to navigate this. It will always be uncomfortable and your Bestie will always wonder if the two of you were playing footsie behind her back.

• Your Ex's Brother ~  Don't think for one minute they're not over there comparing notes. And your ex is telling him all kinds of horrible things about you. And his family?  Don't think for one second you're going to get an invitation to the family reunion. 

As attractive as they may seem take some pause, and meet and date someone outside of your inner circle. It will cut down on the messiness and could possibly extend the life of a budding relationship.



Happy Valentine's Day Sweethearts!

 

Valentine's Day has been and may always be the mainstream marker for showing your love and affection for that special someone. Personally I feel that you should show them you love and care for them all year long.



You don't have to make grand gestures; I find most often it's the little things that cast the biggest impact, whether it be for a friend, family member or your significant other.

• If they have a favorite author get them that book that they don't have
• They've admired that scarf you've been wearing, get them one
• Her favorite food is Crab legs, get her a gift coupon (my shameless pitch)

You see where I'm going with this. A thoughtful gift is the best gift and best given unexpectedly throughout the year.  But be forewarned, if your significant other wants fanfare and spectacle on Valentine's Day and you haven't been on top of your game the rest of year, this is your day to shine, or it might be lights out on your relationship.

I'm not going in to whether Valentine's Day is too commercial, or should be abolished all together, I'm just going to share how I celebrated with the some of the most cherished to me.



I decided to take my Mom, Daughter-In-Law and Grand-Daughter for a Valentine's Day Brunch at Station 4 in Southwest, Washington, DC to show and share my love for them.



I'd like to share some pics of our time together.

Crissy, Mom, Me and Bella. My Mom made that pillow for Bella.

My Mom and Crissy

#MyBella

Margarita Pizza. My choice. 

My Mom chose the Mardi Gras Omelette.

Crissy ordered Brioche French Toast.

I'm thirsty, in a good way.

   

Again, Happy Valentine's Day and show and share Love with your loved ones everyday!

Online Dating

There are millions of single people out there, so why is it so difficult to connect with someone?  Are we too busy to take a moment to hold a conversation with someone who looks interesting? Or are we just hesitant to make the first move in real time and in real life? Maybe we'd just like to take a peek before we pull the curtain back. That's where online dating can be helpful.  We can check out a picture, read a profile and then decide if we want to connect virtually before we meet physically.  That's the new world we live in.  Here are some of the top dating websites and what they have to offer.

• Zoosk ~ This site offers behavioral matchmaking.  So if you're a  little quirky they have a little strange just for you.

• Match ~ Generates the largest number of matches of any dating site. If you can't find a match here you probable won't find one anywhere. Just kidding!

• OurTime ~ Really? Is it my time? It's about time! This is the largest dating site for singles over 50.

• Elite ~  This is the best dating site for professional singles. Sounds a little pretentious to me, but if you check it out let me know your thoughts.

• eHarmony ~ This is a dating site for building long-term lasting relationships.  I just keep hearing their commercials in my head "do you want quick or do you want forever?"  I guess it depends on what you're looking for (wink wink).

Happy searching!

Moving In Together?

It seems like couples are putting off marriage a little longer than ever before, so living together seems to be the new engaged.

So here are some things to consider before making that move:

• Finances ~ That's at the top of my checklist. Who's paying what bills? What are the due dates? What financial obligations are coming in to the household?  More importantly, does your significant other have a job?  What is their financial history?  And, knowing their credit score can be helpful.

• Intimacy ~  Oh no boo, just because we live together doesn't mean you can roll over anytime you want. Discuss your intimacy clock.  Is he a morning person and you're not? Do you want to be intimate more then he does? Set some boundaries.

• Family ~  This includes, your kids, his kids, and the kids you have together.  What is that going to look like in terms of schedules, discipline and chores. Then there is the extended family: brothers, sisters, parents, cousins and the like. How are you going to handle the drop by and the "can I stay here for awhile?"

• Personal Space and Privacy ~  Are you in the bathroom handling your business with the door wide open? Or are you the type that doesn't even want anyone to know what your doing behind that closes door? And sometimes we just need some alone time.  Does the fact that he has passwords on all his gadgets bother you?  Or "I was saving that last scoop of ice cream just for me!" Communication is key to letting each other know what is acceptable and what is off limits.

This is just a small checklist of things to consider.  Develop your own, have your boo develop one as well and then sit down together and compare notes.  Look for commonalities before focusing on your differences, and then try to find a happy medium.

Bad Kisser

There is nothing like a good kiss to get you in the mood. The New Year is right around the corner.  Are you kissing midnight in with an old love, a new one or no one at all?  One thing for sure is that you don't want to kiss the New Year in with a bad kisser.

Some of the worst:

• The Bad Breath Kisser ~ Oh no, he's coming in for the kill and you can smell his breath before his lips meet yours.  What to do?  Turn away, hold your breath, or just fake like you just got a major coughing spell.  I prefer the latter.  Excuse yourself, and come back with a cough drop and tell him you don't want him to catch your cold.  Clever, right.

• The Wet One ~ Jeez, can someone please hand me a napkin or maybe a bib would be more apropos. I don't want a super dry kiss but I don't want to feel like I need that dental straw that sucks the saliva out of your mouth either. Just a little moisture is enough to get those juices flowing.

• The Helicopter ~ Are we preparing for lift off?  His tongue is swirling around in your mouth like a helicopter propeller. All you can hope for is that the engine stalls so you can disengage.

• The Locked Safe ~  What's the combination to getting this guys mouth to open?  Just pressed closed lips against mine. And we're not talking about a peck on the lips, this a full on frontal closed mouth kiss.  Dude, that's not sexy.

What are some of the worst kisses that you've had?

Happy New Year!





Surviving Your Relationship During the Holidays

Aww the Holidays.... 

We're past Thanksgiving and heading quickly in to Christmas.  But why do relationships seem to falter or end during the Holidays?  Here are a few reasons:

• You are expecting too much ~ The food, family, decorations, and gifts, oh my! It can be overwhelming and stressful.  So think about scaling back. Instead of cooking an elaborate meal, go out to dinner with your family.  If you have a family member or friend who loves to decorate and wrap gifts, employ them to do that daunting task. If there is a particular gift that you want, ask it. Your significant other is not a mind reader, or you two can decide to give to a charity instead of each other.

• The new year is right around the corner ~ This is the time when we take stock in our relationships, when we reflect on the years gone by. Have we wasted time? Do you see yourself with the same person going in to the next year? If not, this is when most of us move on, especially if things are not going well.





To avoid a break up communicate your needs so that this time of year isn't stressful for the both of you.  This helps in avoiding setting yourselves up for disappointment.  Remember the holidays mean different things to different people.

If the end is inevitable, drink and eat yourself silly, pick up a new hobby or start a new exercise routine. Push right on through Valentine's Day and emerge in Spring a new you.