Happy New Year 2018

Commuter Train Chronicles: He's Dandy!

Commuter Train Chronicles:

 

A Series of Short Stories and Observations

To Make Your Ride a Little More Interesting

 

 

Hi fellow commuters, I currently ride the Blue and Silver line metro from Largo Town Center to Federal Center SW in the Washington Metropolitan area.  Sometimes it is uneventful , but more times than not it's a ride to remember.  For those down times (mostly on my morning commute) nothing much happens and I’d just like a short story to get me from point “A” to point “B”. I don’t want anything to involved, nothing to mind provoking, but just a little something to take my mind off the fat guy sleeping next to me snoring in my ear. I swear I can smell his morning breath.

 

I’ve made several observations during my years riding the train and I’ve made notes in my journal during my trips. Those compilations as well as my love for writing short stories have moved me to write “Commuter Train Chronicles.”  So grab your phones, or print out a story and read away, and before you know it you’ll hear, “Next stop….”

He's A Dandy

He got on the train about two stops in to my morning commute. Either Morgan Boulevard or Addison Road, definitely not Capitol Heights. Nope, not Capitol Heights.

As soon as he stepped on I said to myself "Oh, he's a Dandy."  Wearing a fedora, cashmere button down pencil coat, black suede Salvatore Ferragamo loafers (I could tell by the backwards horse shoe hardware), hounds tooth scarf, leather gloves and a cross body satchel, he sat right beside me. He's a Dandy alright. He smelled delicious, probably wearing Tom Ford "F***ing Fabulous cologne."

He took off his gloves and fedora and fluffed the top and back of his Mohawk and pulled out his iPhone. Yes, I was all up in his business. That's what I do, observe!  It's call "Social Research" damn it.

I side eyed his cell phone and I could tell he was checking his text messages. Reading, chuckling, and responding in that order. One after another. My mind started to wander. No need trying to read the text sideways, my eyes just aren't that good. Why doesn't he have a larger font, damn it?!? So I was left to my own devices, creating a plausible scenario in my mind.

He had gone a first date last night with someone he met online, "Grinder". They met for drinks and dinner and neither of them wanted the night to end. They had gone to the restaurant in separate cars just in case there wasn't any chemistry between them, but once seated the heat between them was palpable. You could have seared some scallops with all that heat.

Dandy probably ordered something fancy like a "Martini Neat," because it sounds interesting, and his soon to be conquest probably got a Whiskey straight up. And the drinks and conversation flowed well in to the night.

Suddenly they both realized tomorrow is a work day and they both should be getting home. They argued over the bill, laughed and just decided to split it down the middle. Dandy of course left an outrageous tip on the table. Not only does he dress to impress, he tips to impress as well.

He read another text, chuckled again and began to type.

"Next stop, Federal Center SW." 

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

There are times in our relationships that we reach a crossroad.

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

There are simply some relationships that just won't last.  It's fun for now but do you two have the stuff to endure a loving and lasting relationship. You started out as strangers, fell in love and now time has either moved you closer together or moved you a part.  What to do?

Of course there are some deal breakers and then there will be times when you should work on your relationship. Here a few signs to help you decide to STAY or to GO:

• They Don't Want to Commit ~ True, they might change their mind and come around, but who knows. Are you willing to wait it out? If you're interested in a serious relationship and they're not, it's probably not going to happen. ~GO~

• The Romance Dims ~ Sometimes you feel like your more friends than lovers. That's an easy fix. Remind each other why you feel in love. Date each other, do special things for one another, and most importantly communicate your feelings. ~STAY~

• A Difficult Period ~ Life is about ups and downs. There will be times when you have difficult periods, differences of opinions, and opposing views. That's okay, no one is perfectly matched. If those periods are something you two can work through and get past then the answer is clear. ~STAY~

• Abuse ~ This one should be a no brainer. If there is any kind of physical, emotional or verbal abuse it's time to ~GO~

Most relationships can overcome challenges as long as you two work together.



Happy Thanksgiving!

Apps for Meeting Friends

So many of us are looking for friendships and not love interests but don't know where to start.  Well there is an app for everything. From parenting, to arts and crafts, to pet lovers, to I'm new in town and strange hobby enthusiasts, there is an app for that. 

Here are a few apps to help you cultivate local relationships and they are all free:

• Meetup - Meetup works across thousands of cities.  It brings together groups of people that have common interests.  Whether it's a group of people your same age or people who have similar interest Meetup should have something for you.

• Peanut - This app hopes to build a community of women who also happen to be mothers. You can spend time in the app chatting via a group chat facility and discover and connect with moms like you, near you.

• Meet My Dog - Us dog walkers know how easy it is to randomly talk to people while walking our pet, but Meet My Dog makes it simpler. You can easily us it to see what other dogs are in your area, chat with their owners and even set up play dates for you and your precious pooch.

• Skout - This works on preferences and proximity similar to a dating app but it's for friends. You can use it to meet new people, no matter where you are, even if you're just visiting a new area. You can get updates from nearby users and it's ideal for those who travel regularly and want to meet new people.

The world sometimes can feel much bigger than it used to, and can feel like a much lonelier place. It doesn't have to be. Just grab your smartphone download an app and make a friend.



"Venus Meets Mars ~ Adult Conversations Between Men & Women - Could You Be In An Open Relationship?"

I believe the vast majority of folk still prefer a traditional relationship, a one-on-one type of deal. But there are others who pine for and are engaged in open relationships.

The cast of  "Venus Meets Mars" that aired on the "Taylor Love Show" shared their views on the topic and it was quite interesting.  For the deets, you'll have to wait for the book....




An open relationship is an interpersonal relationship where the parties want to be together but agree to be non-monogamous. But what does that really mean?  Does it mean flirting, sex, emotional attachment?  All parties involved must sit down and decide what works best for them.




Also, they must be honest.  Will they divulge their outside relationships in detail. Do both parties want to know what happened and with whom?




I'll define and share a few open relationship types and you tell me "Could You Be In An Open Relationship?"

There are several different styles of open relationships like:

• Polyamory - A person who has more than one intimate relationship at a time with the consent and knowledge of all involved. I liken this more to cult behavior, but that’s just my opinion.

• Don’t Ask-Don’t Tell - I think this is most common, also known as cheating. This is where each partner does their own thing without consulting or the knowledge of the other to some degree. Hell you might be in a “Don’t Ask-Don’t Tell” relationship right now and “Don’t” know it.

• Swinging - A lifestyle where you and your partner are committed to each other but engage in sexual activities at the same time with other people.

What works best for you?  If you want a personal conversation feel free to email me at taylorlovetellsall@gmail.com. 

"Venus Meets Mars ~ Adult Conversations Between Men & Women - Would You Tell?" (The Series, Part II)

You're out minding your own damn business and then BOOM!  You see your buddy or your bestie's significant other with someone else.  You move in for a closer view.  It could be a relative, a co-worker, or a total stranger asking for directions.  

They're a few feet ahead of you and they make a right at the corner.  You hurry to catch up, but they've disappeared.  

Did they go in the hotel, the restaurant, the metro or did they go their separate ways? 

Do you get involved, remain silent, or employ some other method. Are you sure of what your saw?

Have you thought about the consequences of telling or not telling? It’s a sticky and sensitive situation.

Would you tell?



Apps for Couples

In a sea of dating apps for singles, I searched for apps for my couples.  Here are a few I found interesting:

• Simply Us ~ I highly recommend this app for busy couples. It organizes your life together. If you and your partner have problems with scheduling, like meeting at the wrong place at the wrong time, double booking and buying the same things, Simply Us (http://blog.simplyus.com/) would be your lifesaver. It allows you to create private to-do lists, grocery lists and small projects. You can even exchange photos and text, plus enable you to sync special calendars so you can stay on top or your schedules.

• iHeartUs ~ Is your relationship a little stale? Boring! iHeartUs (on iTunes) is the app for couples to celebrate and strengthen their relationships. No matter how long you've been together, get specific recommendations for how to love your partner better. And you might rekindle your love for each other all over again.  Get ideas for date night, connect with your couple friends, or post your favorite moments.

• Dirty Games Truth or Dare ~ Try playing a game of naughty truth or date with this app. Choose whether you want to answer sexy questions or do a slightly scandalous dare. This app is perfect for just the two of you or have others join in the fun (iOS https://apple.com/us/app/dirty-game-hot-truth-or-dare/id468667433?mt=8).

• Foodie ~ If you plan to stay in and amaze your bun with a delicious romantic dinner, Foodie (http://www.foodie.com/) has the most comprehensive list of recipes, organized in neat collections. From simple last minute dishes to masterpieces that require skills and take lots of time, it has it all.  You can also cook meals together!  (iOS https://iTunes.apple.com/us/app/foodie-recipes/id575737456?mt+8).

When you love someone you want to stay connected, especially in times when you are miles apart. Remember there is an app for that.  Happy downloading!

"Venus Meet Mars ~ Adult Conversations Between Men & Women - From A Man's Perspective" (The Series)

While hosting my internet radio show "Taylor Love Tells All" on listenvisionlive.com with my bestie Wanda, we soon discovered that our audience wanted to hear what men had to say about our relationship topics.

Not only were our viewers curious, Wanda and and I were curious too. Born from that curiosity we invited Author, Tracy Jackson and his com padre Mr. Mica to the set to discuss topics that perplexed men and women through out the history of time.

"Venus Meets Mars - From A Man's Perspective" (Segment 1) gives us some insight on how men and women view relationships differently or at times the same.

The "Venus Meet Mars ~ Adult Conversation Between Men & Women" series will cover topics that were suggested by our viewers.

What I'd like from you, both men and women is to join in the conversation.

"Venus Meets Mars ~ Adult Conversations Between Men & Women" will be a published compilation of your anonymous comments on the series topics.

To comment on the series you can send them to my various social media accounts or email your comments to me at:  TaylorLoveTellsAll@gmail.com.

"Boy Bye" ~ The Movie

I'm not usually a fan of romantic comedies but this one held my attention until the very end.  Although most of it seemed very cliche it was also very true to life.

"Boy Bye" (Netflix) is the story of a successful African-American realtor named Veronica Love, affectionately known as Love by her friends (I give a nod to myself).  She's single and satisfied and has a series of boy toys in her repertoire.

Enter Lance, a handsome and charismatic client who enlists Love to sell a property in California's romantic wine country. This property just happens to be where her psychologist friend Angela is hosting a singles retreat.

She and her friends Charity, who recently caught her husband in bed with another woman and Beverly, who is happily married but tags along as support, head to the singles retreat for a get away weekend.

Once there Love hooks up with Lance and its a whirlwind romance and he sweeps her off her feet and she off his. Love has never felt this way before and believes that Lance may be the one, but Lance has a secret that threatens their relationship.

Charity discovers Lance's secret and struggles with whether or not she should tell Love.

The Cast:

• Love ~ Wendy Raquel Robinson
• Charity ~ Shondrella Avery
• Angela ~ Tracy Davis
• Beverly ~ Tammy Townsend
• Lance ~ Ross Fleming

Definitely Worth Seeing.....

Happy "5th" of July

Happy "5th" of July! 

Does your relationship still have the sparkle it used to, or has it fizzled out to a dud? No worries, you can ignite that flame again.


There is nothing new on this list and it's not rocket science. You just have to take the time to make sparks fly again.  Here are a few easy tips to remind you:

• Participate in an activity with your partner ~ Nothing heats things up more than cooking in the kitchen, just keep an eye on the spice level.

• Surprise! ~ Arrange a picnic for your loved one, go to a poetry reading, or just take some time to sit at an outdoor café and sip on some champagne. Take Uber and leave the driving to them.

• Touch Each Other ~ Or have a masseuse do it. Arrange a massage for the both of you in the same room. Now that's hot!

Remember it's the little things that count and offer the biggest BOOM!

Keep Your Relationship On Track

Sometimes relationships can hit a bump in the road and get off track.  Here a few tips to smooth things out:

• Date Night ~ It may sound a little corny but you need to take time for one another.  It could be a cozy dinner, some late night jazz or a picnic in the park.  Devoting time to each other is important to reconnecting and rekindling your relationship.

• Attend a Couples Retreat ~ This is a chance to invigorate your relationship.  You get to commune with couples who have similar experiences and learn best practices. At a minimum its a nice getaway from the monotony of home.

• Focus on the Positive ~ It's easy to point out what's wrong.  Instead of that, focus on what's right. Thank each other for the little things that they do and appreciate your differences.

• Sex ~ Yes, sex is a big part of a relationship and lack of it can be a sore spot for your partner. The bond created by sexual intimacy is a strong one, but it also requires communication that is key to a lasting and fulfilling relationship.



What's Your Type?

People often ask me "What's Your Type?"  Well the answer is somewhat complicated for most of us to answer.


We can list the most obvious:

• Funny
• Intelligent
• Financially Stable
• Mature

And then there are the physical types:

• Tall
• Short
• Athletic
• Dark
• Light

Matching the two lists can be mind boggling and almost impossible.  But we persevere.




So what about a person that just makes you loose your DAMN mind?


Your marrying or relationship type may be may not be your just for the moment type. 


And depending where you are in your life can often change the types of persons we choose to be with.


For me there has been one constant; he has to be SWAG-A-LICIOUS!


What's Your Type?

Emotional Affair?

Are you having an "Emotional Affair"?

Just because it's not physical or sexual doesn't mean it's harmless.  Emotional affairs can be just as detrimental to a relationship if one or both partners believes it is infidelity or cheating.




Emotional affairs usually start out as just friendships so it may be difficult to determine when it crosses the line.


Here are some signs that a friendship is entering the danger zone:

• You Can't Stop Thinking About The Other Person ~ Get out of my head. Every thought, and everything reminds me of them. I save fond memories in a special place in my mind so that I can retrieve them whenever I'm feeling down or blue.

• You Get Butterflies ~ Your stomach goes topsy turvy when I know your going to see them. 

• You Dress Up ~  Nothing like a new outfit and some new smell goods when you're going to see your "FRIEND".

• You'd Be Upset If Your Partner Was In Doing The Same Thing ~ There is no better reality check than finding out your partner is doing the same thing.  "So you're the only one who can have a friend?"

• You Start Contacting Each Other At Inappropriate Times ~ It's 2:00am and you're texting each other while hiding in the bathroom.  That's just wrong!

It's a slippery slope to catch yourself before you take a tumble.

Habits of Healthy Couples

A healthy relationship can look different to all of us, but there are some constants:

• You Feel Safe In Your Relationship ~ You can share your innermost feelings with your partner without the fear of being judged. Your experiences together are safe in that place and aren't shared with others. It's your little secret. Shhhh....

• You See The Best In Each Other ~ You don't point out each other's flaws. You celebrate your differences and draw on each other's strengths. If you look for something wrong you can always find it. And ultimately if you look for something good you can find that too.

• You Let Each Other Know What You Want ~ In a healthy relationship you tell each other what you want, not what you don't want. You give constructive comments instead of criticizing.

• You Show Love Every Day ~ You don't wait for Valentine's Day or special occasions to show you love your partner.  It doesn't have to be a grand gesture, sometimes it's the little things that count.

• You Spend Time Together ~ It's not about the quantity of time but more about the quality of the time you spend. He can prep while you cook, or you two can lay in bed next to each other while reading a book. Find time to connect on an emotional level.

At the end of the day a healthy relationship should make you feel energized instead of feeling drained.

Put Them On The "Don't" Date List

You're single and feeling good about yourself and it seems that everyone is attracted to you. Or, your single and feeling sorry for yourself and you're attracted to everyone.  Well, before moving forward on your options, strike these people off of your list:

• Your Boss ~ Waiting! Is he rating your job performance or your performance in bed. Either way this can go bad real quick. And that promotion he promised?  How many special projects do you have to complete before you say an increase in your paycheck.

• Your Son's Best friend ~  He sure looks good stretched out on your sofa while he and your son are watching the game. And he sure loves your buffalo wings. But this is a relationship you want to steer clear of.  Your son definitely won't appreciate watching you two make out, and you can forget about him ever calling his boy "Stepdad."

• Your Best friend's Ex ~ There is never a good way to navigate this. It will always be uncomfortable and your Bestie will always wonder if the two of you were playing footsie behind her back.

• Your Ex's Brother ~  Don't think for one minute they're not over there comparing notes. And your ex is telling him all kinds of horrible things about you. And his family?  Don't think for one second you're going to get an invitation to the family reunion. 

As attractive as they may seem take some pause, and meet and date someone outside of your inner circle. It will cut down on the messiness and could possibly extend the life of a budding relationship.



Happy Valentine's Day Sweethearts!

 

Valentine's Day has been and may always be the mainstream marker for showing your love and affection for that special someone. Personally I feel that you should show them you love and care for them all year long.



You don't have to make grand gestures; I find most often it's the little things that cast the biggest impact, whether it be for a friend, family member or your significant other.

• If they have a favorite author get them that book that they don't have
• They've admired that scarf you've been wearing, get them one
• Her favorite food is Crab legs, get her a gift coupon (my shameless pitch)

You see where I'm going with this. A thoughtful gift is the best gift and best given unexpectedly throughout the year.  But be forewarned, if your significant other wants fanfare and spectacle on Valentine's Day and you haven't been on top of your game the rest of year, this is your day to shine, or it might be lights out on your relationship.

I'm not going in to whether Valentine's Day is too commercial, or should be abolished all together, I'm just going to share how I celebrated with the some of the most cherished to me.



I decided to take my Mom, Daughter-In-Law and Grand-Daughter for a Valentine's Day Brunch at Station 4 in Southwest, Washington, DC to show and share my love for them.



I'd like to share some pics of our time together.

Crissy, Mom, Me and Bella. My Mom made that pillow for Bella.

My Mom and Crissy

#MyBella

Margarita Pizza. My choice. 

My Mom chose the Mardi Gras Omelette.

Crissy ordered Brioche French Toast.

I'm thirsty, in a good way.

   

Again, Happy Valentine's Day and show and share Love with your loved ones everyday!

Online Dating

There are millions of single people out there, so why is it so difficult to connect with someone?  Are we too busy to take a moment to hold a conversation with someone who looks interesting? Or are we just hesitant to make the first move in real time and in real life? Maybe we'd just like to take a peek before we pull the curtain back. That's where online dating can be helpful.  We can check out a picture, read a profile and then decide if we want to connect virtually before we meet physically.  That's the new world we live in.  Here are some of the top dating websites and what they have to offer.

• Zoosk ~ This site offers behavioral matchmaking.  So if you're a  little quirky they have a little strange just for you.

• Match ~ Generates the largest number of matches of any dating site. If you can't find a match here you probable won't find one anywhere. Just kidding!

• OurTime ~ Really? Is it my time? It's about time! This is the largest dating site for singles over 50.

• Elite ~  This is the best dating site for professional singles. Sounds a little pretentious to me, but if you check it out let me know your thoughts.

• eHarmony ~ This is a dating site for building long-term lasting relationships.  I just keep hearing their commercials in my head "do you want quick or do you want forever?"  I guess it depends on what you're looking for (wink wink).

Happy searching!

Moving In Together?

It seems like couples are putting off marriage a little longer than ever before, so living together seems to be the new engaged.

So here are some things to consider before making that move:

• Finances ~ That's at the top of my checklist. Who's paying what bills? What are the due dates? What financial obligations are coming in to the household?  More importantly, does your significant other have a job?  What is their financial history?  And, knowing their credit score can be helpful.

• Intimacy ~  Oh no boo, just because we live together doesn't mean you can roll over anytime you want. Discuss your intimacy clock.  Is he a morning person and you're not? Do you want to be intimate more then he does? Set some boundaries.

• Family ~  This includes, your kids, his kids, and the kids you have together.  What is that going to look like in terms of schedules, discipline and chores. Then there is the extended family: brothers, sisters, parents, cousins and the like. How are you going to handle the drop by and the "can I stay here for awhile?"

• Personal Space and Privacy ~  Are you in the bathroom handling your business with the door wide open? Or are you the type that doesn't even want anyone to know what your doing behind that closes door? And sometimes we just need some alone time.  Does the fact that he has passwords on all his gadgets bother you?  Or "I was saving that last scoop of ice cream just for me!" Communication is key to letting each other know what is acceptable and what is off limits.

This is just a small checklist of things to consider.  Develop your own, have your boo develop one as well and then sit down together and compare notes.  Look for commonalities before focusing on your differences, and then try to find a happy medium.