Surviving A Breakup

The days of laying in bed eating a pint of ice cream or drinking an entire bottle of wine or liquor are over. Look at a breakup as time for reinventing yourself.  Yeah I know it hurts, but very few people have actually died from a broken heart. You can do this, I have faith in you, have some faith in yourself.  Here are a few tips to help you through your breakup.

• Social Media ~ Stop trolling their social media accounts. Do you really want to see them out at festivals, traveling and fine dining, especially if their with someone new? You don't. And stop posting all those pics of yourself having a great time and posting subliminal messages if it's just a ploy to get their attention. Just lay back and be cool. And please, no drunk texts or calls in the middle of the night.

• Feeling Rage? ~ Don't kick the dog or beat up on yourself, hit the gym instead. Take a kick boxing class, go running, hit a tennis ball. You can get in shape while releasing that negative energy.

• Stop Scheming or Stalking to Get Them Back ~ Get yourself back. Resist the urge to drive by their place or show up at their gym when you know they will be there. Avoid those places like the plaque. Stop calling with gloom and doom and death at your door as if you think they'll coming running back to you. They won't.

• Don't Blame Yourself ~ It takes more than one person to cause a break up so feel free to share the blame. Stop questioning yourself with, "If only I had...." Some things were just not to be.

• Ready to Date Someone Else ~ Slow it down and take your time. Keep it casual and whatever you do don't bring up or compare the new Boo to your ex.

Keep in mind that someone might be on the other side of the closed door. Patience my love!

Don't Let These Mistakes Stand In The Way of True Intamacy

Most people want a healthy and loving relationship, otherwise why would they bother?  But not everyone knows how to get it right or how to make it work.

Photo Courtesy of:  Zawaj.com

Here are a few mistakes and how to avoid them (adapted from Dr. Bea M Jaffrey):

• Forgetting Mental Foreplay ~ This is especially true for women. It starts with her mind. Sometimes it can even start days before. But men can get in on the benefits too. Send a sentimental text. Remind  them of the reasons you fell in love with them. Get take-out and have a picnic on the living room floor. Be creative. It's true when they say it's the little things that count.

• Not Being Best Friends ~ I know this sounds cliché but it's true. You enjoy most things better with your best friend. When it's your lover it's the same. They should be your best friend. Take time to laugh together, share with one another and make sex a priority.

• Too Much Pornography ~ Watching porn is okay and sometimes it's a great stimulant and it can be something that you two can do together. But when it gets in the way of or replaces being intimate with your partner then it's a problem. Balance is the key.

• Not Having An Orgasm? ~ This mostly affects women, but men can suffer from it too. Statistics say that 95% of men reach orgasm when having sex with a partner, but only 69% of women do the same (Richters et al., 2006). You may need to employ other practices to reach orgasm. Try out different positions and other types of stimuli to reach optimum satisfaction. Win-Win!

Reach out and touch someone you love today!

Does Deleting Dating Apps Prove Your Committed?

You two meet on a dating site, now your relationship is blooming and going to the next level. Out of curiosity's sake you went back on that site to see if your boo still has their profile page, and bam, "YES" they do.


Do you think that the person you're in a relationship with should delete their dating apps?


Here are a few things to consider:

• Deleting their dating app shows that they are serious about your relationship and shows that they are ready to be exclusive

• It eases the anxiety that they have a wandering eye or are still out there looking for the next best thing

• It's clear that the focus is on your relationship

• When you become intimate and start talking about a future together is the right time to delete those apps

• It frees up emotional space to concentrate on the person in front of you

But remember, just deleting a dating app doesn't delete an account. Take that extra step together.